When The “No Contact Rule” Is Most Appropriate

If they are unable to commit, but still want to keep you as an option.

This can be difficult. This is not about them being ‘bad’. It is about acknowledging your needs and validating that they are valid. If they can’t commit to a relationship, it’s not their fault. They want to keep you in the family so they don’t have the obligation to make that decision. This will also give them the chance to continue to support you in the event they do. It will ruin your self-esteem, and possibly even cause you to lose the possibility of a friendship. You break when you break. You can’t make them commit to being with your, but they can’t promise to be with you. Therefore, you must adhere to the No Contact Rule.

Low self-esteem.

It doesn’t matter if the other person is “bad”. However, if you treat yourself poorly with love, respect, trust, and care, whatever you receive from someone else, even if it isn’t very much, it feels like a lot. This person will place you on a pedestal and make you feel inferior while ignoring your own contribution. They are not special. No Contact Rule will be necessary, regardless of whether you have low self-esteem or it has been reduced. Your wellbeing is not your priority. You’ll end up feeling more pain if you place your needs, desires, and feelings above theirs. This can have a knock-on effect as you will judge yourself based on what you see as your mistakes or flaws. That affects how you think and behave which in turn affects the people you choose to be involved with. The No Contact Rule is an excellent way to build self-esteem.

If they are already in a relationship.

The No Contact Rule will stop them from trying to maintain a relationship with yours or at least try to keep you as an option, while they are with someone else. Right down. The No Contact Rule is crucial if you have had an affair. It protects you against being dragged back into their false promises of leaving. The No Contact Rule will shut down any inquiry that they have about you and inform them that you are not available. The No Contact Rule is essential if you believed you would have an affair with them or fell in love with them while they were having an affair with someone else.

Mixed messages from engaging can lead to more pain.

They may have been respectful of your boundaries, but they are sending mixed messages through a continuing ‘friendship’, or refusing to accept that the relationship has ended. This makes it difficult for both you and them to move on. You should not get mixed messages from them or make up your own interpretations despite what they have said. No Contact Rule will help you both communicate clearly. If you don’t have a good relationship with them and you keep trying to be around them, then you are actually hurting yourself.

They stalk you.

It doesn’t matter how nice they were in the relationship, if they are stalking you now that they have ended the relationship, the No Contact Rule and the involving the law will be necessary. For those who have been in a relationship with this person and are feeling tempted to follow them, it is important to get an enforced timeout to help them regain control.

They are abusive.

It’s not a good idea to make friends with someone who has abused you. It’s not necessary to be friendly with an abuser. You need to act in self-preservation. Additional support is needed to help you distance yourself.

They are a user.

Although it might have taken some time to realize that they were using a perceived weakness to gain an advantage, using is still abuse. 99 percent of users won’t admit they are users because they don’t see it that way. You feel like you’re losing and using, and that’s all you need to know. You may feel like you are being taken advantage of. This is because your inner self, which you have likely ignored, recognizes it.

Codependency is when there are two people.

You can’t tell where they start and end. You should also separate if they are addicted to something. This is important for your future well-being. If you feel that letting go of a relationship would be ‘abandonment,’ then this is also a category.

If you don’t really know the person.

Many people have a collection of ex-dates. These are people who chatted briefly or even had sex online before disappearing for a while. They also have crushes and extended flirtations. You might be able to cope with it if you are. But the rot starts when you feel an attachment to these people. You’re not an option if you aren’t available.

You’ve lost your self-respect.

Your involvement has led to you doing things you will find embarrassing or humiliating in the future.

Boundary issues.

If you or your partner didn’t respect your boundaries and you are still engaging in the relationship, the No Contact Rule can be very important. It removes any opportunity for them to harm you, and it also allows you to respect your own boundaries.

To end your marriage.

If your marriage is abusive, cutting contact is not the best way to tell someone that you are ending it. You need to keep in touch with your spouse for divorce. It’s also a bad way to end a relationship you have legally committed to. You can use it to help the person who doesn’t respect your boundaries. However, you must tell them that the marriage has ended and have already tried the traditional divorce route. If they refuse to acknowledge it or your boundaries, you can refer to a mediator.