A man who has broken up with you expects only one thing. You to break down. He is waiting for you to cry, to beg him to change his mind and to act irrationally and make humiliating scenes. He will secretly wait for you to text or call him at night, sobbing, begging, and pleading with you that you cannot live without him.
Steal his thunder
He is unnerved if you are calm, cool, and collected. He immediately asks himself “Where is she?” When you are out of his sight, he wants to know that you love him. It doesn’t matter if he split up with you, he may be less interested than he thought. This is when you will be back on his radar.
It’s like “Hide-and go-seek,” where one player hides and the other seeks. The hider may appear to have stopped looking for the seeker for a long time, but eventually, the hider will come out of hiding and begin to search for him.
A man takes at least three weeks before he realizes you aren’t actively looking for him out. He’ll be wondering where you are after four weeks. He’ll likely act like a high school student, wondering where you are and what you’re doing. You should contact him if he doesn’t get back to you in eight weeks. Do not give up on him. It shouldn’t consume you. Be amazed and keep moving.
Breakup power
Mr. Ex sees you sitting on your couch, crying into a pillow, covered in damp crumpled tissues, and drowning in Bluebell Rocky Road. Knowing that you are suffering makes his ego grow larger. It’s like a quick jab at his pride when he hears that you are having fun with your best friends and that you’re not being affected by the breakup.
What it says about him and how he ended up together
Matt LeBlanc once stated, “Why should you have to end up with her?” Be a man. “Just stop calling.” However, how a man ties his knots is very important. It is a sign of his character. Remember, the best test you can give to a man is how he treats you when you are not watching.
Face to face
He is a man of character. He is a rare man in today’s high-tech world. He was mature enough to speak with you. He was kind enough to let you know that he loved you and ended the relationship. While you won’t be able to appreciate this gem for a while you will eventually respect him for his courage and willingness to talk to you about your feelings. In today’s world where men are reduced to being boys through texting and email, a man like this is something to be proud of.
Telephone
This behavior is acceptable only in a long-distance relationship. If he doesn’t like the look on your face, it is a sign he cannot handle the distance. He doesn’t have to face you to end the relationship.
Text or email
This is cold, immature, and heartless. (There are a few other words that come to my mind. It suggests he is a coward who can’t face the truth. He is incapable of handling difficult conversations. He doesn’t seem to care. This one was a lucky escape. Do not walk. Instead, run as far as you can from him.
The Man Who Disappears
The Houdini who vanished without a trace follows the path of least resistance. He doesn’t feel the need for explanations. Many men will keep you hanging to make it possible for them to have another date. It’s okay if you have only been out on a few dates. It doesn’t mean you have a relationship. If you have been in a relationship for less than three to six months, it is likely that he doesn’t know how to tell you that you are not right for him. He can’t deal with tears… it’s too much. He is not capable of having difficult conversations. He doesn’t have an excuse so don’t wait for one. He doesn’t care about your feelings. He probably has other things. This guy is not worthy to be your water. Give him no second thoughts. Make another date before the sun sets tonight.
Men who are constantly changing their minds about your life, leaving you open to new possibilities, are just wasting your time. He will only want you when it is convenient for him. He can do it once. You can expect him to do it again. You can expect a third, fourth and fifth call if he doesn’t text or calls you back. Stop allowing disrespectful or bad behavior to continue. You can expect more from yourself when you do. You get more.
You don’t need to waste your time looking for closure. He already gave it to you. Although you may feel that you need to have a conversation with him in order to get closure, the truth is that a man who leaves you without saying a word and leaves you confused and without any clue speaks volumes about his character. This reflects that he doesn’t have any. This should give you all the closure that you need. The bond you shared was so strong that it didn’t seem right to say goodbye.
If a man treats your life as a revolving door, he is only trying to keep you on his side. Do you believe that a man will make you do anything he wants? He’s not. He wants you to be on a rotation. Do not allow him to place you in a stalemate. You can find a better man who will love you, spoil you, and give you the emotional and physical support that you need. Do not text him. Do not call him. Forget him. Change his name to Mr. Ex.
The Cheater
Kim Cattrall once stated, “Men cheat because dogs lick their feet…because they can.” Let’s face the truth… It’s simple. It’s not that I am justifying it for them. It’s not that I agree with it, and it’s not that it is wrong to do so. But men cheat because they are able. Because there are so many women out there who don’t have any standards or requirements and are willing to accommodate them.
People often say, “Forgive and forget.” But if you don’t remember how to forgive, then how can you ever forget? You may be struggling to decide whether you want to stay with him or let him go. What kind of affair was it and how did you find out? Did it just happen once and he was so remorseful that he had to confess? Did you get ripped off? Was it a full-fledged affair that lasted for months, if not years? To figure out the truth, did you need to become a female Sherlock Holmes? Did there have to be premeditated sex before it happened? Are there vacations? Are they taking her on business trips to entertain clients or spend time with her family?
It is easiest to forgive a one-time affair. While I don’t mean to suggest that this is okay, women will be more open to allowing it. Men are weak. He made a mistake. It didn’t matter if it was the second type. That’s what’s known as an affair. If you are wondering if it is okay to forgive an affair of this nature, you might be better off asking “Why in hell would you?”
This man is a master manipulator and will make you believe a lie for many months, years, or even longer. He let his other woman believe the exact same. You might be wise to find a man smart enough not to cheat, even if it is true that “all men cheat”.
You don’t have to blame him, you don’t have to take responsibility for his actions, and you don’t have to feel guilty about what you did. The problem is in him. A relationship is made up of two people and not three. It’s not fair that a third party is invited to a relationship where there are only two of them. It shouldn’t make you feel ashamed, hurt, or filled with insecurity. He should have contacted you sooner than he did with another woman if there was a problem. Nine out of ten men cheat with women who aren’t as good as his home. You can do the opposite and just let him have her. She’s not as good as you. Do not compare yourself and be jealous. She is getting a man who’s unfaithful and a liar, and she’s cheating. You can rest easy knowing she is next to you every night.
Steve Harvey best said this in his book Act Like a Lady. Think Like a Man. What Men Really Think about Love, Relationships and Commitment. said that women can think over the situation and find all sorts of weaknesses in themselves. Women need to let go of the guilt that a cheating husband may have caused by their actions. It can paralyze you, and it can keep you from performing well in the next encounter. If you are focused on the rearview mirror, it is impossible to drive forward.
Give your heart some time to catch up to your brain
If you are still having difficulty deciding whether to keep or go after having an affair, it is possible that you still love him even though your brain hasn’t caught up to your heart. You can’t have contact with someone you don’t want to be in a relationship with. When you consider how disrespectful the man treated you, you will soon feel nauseated from feelings of love. Don’t let him go.
Why you shouldn’t be “just friends”
Sarah Dessen’s book This Lullaby best describes why friends can’t stay friends. She wrote: “Because it can never go from being friends to going out, just like that.” It is a lie. It’s something people will say to get rid of the permanence of a breakup. It’s a common mistake to take it to mean something other than it is. Then, it hurts, even more, when the ‘friendly’ relationship is still a significant step down from the former relationship. But messier.”
What do you do if a man calls and says, “Let’s be best friends”. You smile and respond with “Sure we can”. The next time he calls or texts, you will choose to ignore him. If he asks for your help, you can simply say “no thanks.”
The “we can be best friends” line he uses during a breakup is not for his own good. It’s just a way to feed his ego. He feels less like a man because of it. He feels guilty about breaking up and believes that by offering his friendship, he is being a great man. It’s an easy way out. Do not get mad at him for suggesting this. Smile and say “Of course we can”, then excuse yourself. His radar will be wiped clean. Another reason Mr. Ex wants you to be “just friends” is that he isn’t sure if he really wants you to go. He isn’t sure if you are worth his time and wants to explore all options. He wants you to remain “just friends” so that you can be there in case any other women, or men on his ‘to-do list, fail to come through. Find a man who is willing to be your best friend, lover, and confidante. Move quickly past Mr. Ex in a friendly manner.
