Breakups are something you never thought could happen. It’s devastating to lose someone you have loved and been a part of your life. This could be the first, fourth, fifth, or sixth time. Perhaps it’s time for you to be a little annoyed at the man who keeps pushing you along so long.
Take the time to grieve the end of your relationship during the first week. It’s dead. It’s over. This is your chance to look back at the course of the relationship and to take responsibility for any actions that contributed to it.
Find your source of comfort
After her split, one woman shared with me that her only source of comfort was her relationship with God. Crawling in the fetal position in bed asking God for comfort, strength, and protection was her only source of comfort. Look for the source of your comfort and ask that it be provided to you.
You will want to crawl into bed the first week after a breakup, depending on how fragile and fragile you are. It is possible to have difficulty functioning. These first few days can be the most difficult, painful, and mind-numbing experience of your life.
It is perfectly normal to cry for the first few days. It’s okay to not want to leave the house. That’s your right. Your life has been turned upside down. Some women need every ounce they have to keep going through their daily grind. They are numb from the pain.
You can also be proactive. Recognize that a breakup can be painful for a while. You can decide that you won’t let the breakup ruin your happiness in the coming weeks, months, or longer. Get in touch with your friends and arrange lunch or a night out.
Out of sight, out of mind
You will need to make adjustments in your day that are different from what you used to do as a couple. Perhaps you used to talk on the phone with Mr. Ex or have had text messages or phone calls every day. It is normal to pray that your phone rings constantly every day. It’s possible to pray with all your heart for the message alerts to go off. It’s the equivalent to “You’ve Got Mail”.
You may have a particular ring tone that you wanted to give Mr. Ex, but now it is time to change it. You should change all your ringtones so that a familiar sound doesn’t trigger a memory about him. This will ensure that you don’t get disappointed by any text messages you receive.
You can remove photos and personal items of Mr. Ex from your sight within the first week. Do not rush to throw them all out, pack them up for now.
You will find getting dressed a chore that you must do. Before you leave the house, make it a habit to dress up in your best clothes. It will make you feel better. Remember this: Always look hot in the event you meet Mr. Ex!
Remember the scene in Hope Floats where Sandra Bullock took her daughters to lunch? Her hair was messy and she was only wearing her pajamas and robe. Her daughter was embarrassed that her mother showed up at school in such a mess and she ignored her. It doesn’t matter how hard it is, you must get up and dress. Do not let anyone see that you are looking like someone has died. The world doesn’t know that you are going through a breakup. Be the unique, beautiful soul God created you to be. You’ll feel beautiful if you look beautiful.
Mark one week from the last contact with Mr. ex on a calendar or your phone. You can reward yourself on day seven with whatever you wish. Book an appointment for a haircut, pedicure, and manicure. Lunch with a friend would be even better. It’s easy to believe that you won’t make it through these days. It may not seem like it at first, but you will soon look back on this time and say “I can’t believe that I wasted so much time down in the dumps!”
Some suggest that Mr. Ex’s voicemails, text messages, and emails be deleted immediately. It’s out of sight, out of mind. I say keep them and let them serve to remind you of any pain he has caused. Remember this: Love doesn’t hurt.
After three days of no contact from her boyfriend for two years, Elizabeth wrote to him. He finally sent her a text message dissolving the relationship. Although she said that she regrets not responding, she admits that she was very upset at the time. She texted him several times to tell him how much she loved him and that she wanted to help them both with their problems. He didn’t respond. He never responded to her text messages. She kept them to remind him that they were still in a relationship and that he could not even reply to any of them.
You may find some messages or voicemails provide some comfort. An empty inbox can be difficult to see. Keep your voicemails and old messages if you feel the need to. They will eventually be deleted permanently. You can use any method necessary to make it through the first week. Each subsequent week will be easier.
Keep a reminder on your calendar for two weeks of no contact, three and four, respectively. You’ll feel proud and accomplished when you can check off that your week was completed without calling his number. You won’t ever need to remind him again.
Understanding why it’s so hard for you
The loss of love and affection that comes with a relationship is one of the main reasons why a split is so difficult to handle. Being loved. Everybody wants to feel loved. It doesn’t disappear because Mr. Ex left. Many women are confused between feeling loved and being told they are loved. You want to feel loved and cared for by someone.
The feeling that Mr. Ex loved you is what makes a breakup so painful. You aren’t giving it to yourself. You can no longer have the confidence that you gained from feeling loved and cherished.