It’s easier to manage emotions if you can anticipate the highs and lows, twists and turns before they happen. You will be able to manage the many emotions you experience if you anticipate them and prepare accordingly. Unexpected situations are what we fail to handle because we’re not prepared.
Even the most loving and intimate relationships can lead to emotional turmoil. You experience a variety of emotions, which can vary from one hour on to the next. After a breakup, you may experience anger, sadness, resentment, and fear. It is important to control your emotions and not let them handle you.
We let ourselves get caught up in the drama. You are angry at Mr. Ex because he doesn’t want what you want. Because you are unable to express your feelings verbally, you feel resentment. But you don’t get it. This journey requires courage. Self-control is key to managing conflicting emotions and putting on a brave face. You can turn negative emotions into positive ones by taking a step back and looking at them from an outside perspective.
Shock
It’s possible to walk around in confusion, wondering “What the heck just happened?” Last week, you may have been the happiest person in the world and never thought about the future of your relationship. You feel like an 18-Wheeler has hit you and you have survived without any broken bones. It might be hard to speak. It can be difficult to get words out of your mouth.
You may think you are having a conversation with someone, but in reality, you are just nodding your head pretending that you understand the conversation. Their last name is not even a common one.
Because you can’t even finish a slice of toast, you now know what the expression “eating as a bird” means. You have lost all appetite. You want to sleep. When you are finally done, you will wake up in the middle the next morning with tears in your eyes. You will first ask yourself, “Is this real?”
It can seem overwhelming to deal with a sudden breakup. This could be for days or even weeks. To avoid the shock of realizing that your life is changing, you will want to keep in touch with Mr. Ex. Even if you feel that it would be helpful, this is not the right thing to do.
Most comfort. This only makes it more difficult to heal. Move on from the hurt feelings that come with a breakup.
Denialism
Because you don’t know what the truth is, you may be questioning your sanity. You thought that a relationship was meant to last. You need to control your emotions and actions. You’ll lose the fight against the breakup if you don’t exercise control. To avoid talking to your family or friends about the breakup, you may withdraw.
Recognize that every woman has been through a breakup. The way you handle the situation publicly will make you stand out from many other women. When someone asks you about it, the best way to respond is to simply say, “It was great while we were together, but it was time for us both to move on.” They will be grateful that you didn’t bore them with irrelevant details that they don’t care about. Keep your venting to close friends and trusted associates.
Anger
You’ve probably gone through the process of analyzing what went wrong a hundred times. You probably ignored the red flags that were waving like torches of red hot fire. Perhaps Mr. Ex didn’t introduce you to his family or friends. Did he stop planning ahead? He disappeared for weeks, only to reappearance. Did he begin to exercise? Do you think he started working long hours? Perhaps he was indifferent to you when you were together.
These warning signs are huge and indicate that he was either doing something or someone else. You’re mad at him and angry at yourself for not seeing these signs. Perhaps you thought it was just a phase that he was going through. This is perfectly normal.
Negotiate
You will now be able to start to rebuild your relationship. You may also want to find out what needs to be fixed. We tend to look to men to fix things when something is broken. However, after a divorce, we want to get into fix mode. Women are nurturers by nature and will take care of these issues with all our love. This is a bad idea. When it comes to matters of heart, a smart woman won’t negotiate. She is a take it or lose it. She isn’t asking for a man to live with her, and men love women who have this attitude.
It is easy to ask yourself what you could do differently to avoid a breakup. To get your relationship back on track, you need to be open to accepting compromises. Reiterate my words, “It’s never my job to fix it,” and don’t reach for your phone to do so. Give yourself some time to grieve and allow the Lord to heal you.
Breakups can make even the strongest women feel weak. It’s going to kill you to try to reach out to Mr. Ex by sending a simple text message. This is like a drug addict going to get his next dose. Don’t do it! It will pass. Long-term thinking is the best. You have to be open to the possibility of making up. You can email me, Facebook me or go on a run. You can do anything to distract Mr. Ex. Don’t touch the phone.
Remember this: When a man starts to work overtime, it is because he isn’t pulling his weight and doing his fair share. This is making you work harder. He will lose respect for you the harder you work.
Depression
You’ll be able to look back on your life and reflect on what could have been. It’s normal to feel sad at times. Accept it for what is and surround yourself with people who love you. Although you may not like getting out of bed, the more you do it the quicker you will get through the other side. Do you see that God opened the door to someone or something better when you look back? You may have thought your boyfriend was great at the time but you ended up dating someone who had better qualities, character and was a better match for you.
Every breakup is a learning experience that teaches us something about ourselves that we didn’t know. This time in your life can be viewed as a learning experience or you can let it ruin you for many years.
Take the initiative to be more successful and to give yourself permission to succeed. To feel loved, valued, and needed, you need affection. These needs won’t be affected if a relationship ends. Your needs must still be met.
Acceptance
Some people argue that once something is broken, it cannot be fixed. I disagree. I disagree. Women and men have been through many setbacks throughout history, including infidelity, breakups, struggle, hard times, infidelity, and many other difficulties. Sometimes they return stronger and happier than before. It takes two to make a relationship work. You can’t expect both sides to make the effort. It is important to be able to recognize when the other party isn’t willing to do the same and to let go. You must have the courage to say enough, and then move on.
You will find peace when you are able to let go. This is when Mr. Ex usually decides to put his affairs in order. A man may take four to eight weeks to see the truth. You may not want him back by that point. It may take women longer to decide, but once they do, they stick with it. When Mr. Ex isn’t in your head at all, you will know that you have accepted the split. It will be sweet.
Even though you feel all these emotions on a daily basis, it is hard to resist the temptation of calling or texting him. You still want answers. You will want to send a message in the middle of the night asking for his response. Trust me when I tell you that there are no answers that he can give right now to make you feel better. It is normal to desire closure. But, you are the only one who needs it. He doesn’t.
You should know that a man who loves you will always give you his highest priority. It’s as simple as that.
Because his actions will not place any doubt in your mind, you will never need to question his love. Never settle for a man who does not make you his priority in life. Be smart enough to know when he isn’t.
