40 Signs That “No Contact” Rule Is Necessary

As someone who has helped people evaluate their situations and determine when No Contact is necessary, I have learned to recognize common feelings and situations. It’s very likely that you will need the No Contact Rule if you agree with only one of these statements. Read through and think if you recognize these patterns.

40 Reasons To Consider The “No Contact Rule”

1. This is a one-sided relationship. My partner doesn’t reciprocate my feelings, yet I still hang around.
2. My partner governs the relationship. If I try to do things my way, they meet me with objections.
3. This relationship makes me feel like I’m losing control of my thoughts. Other areas of my life have also suffered.
4. I tried to end the relationship but they wouldn’t listen. I just keep going back.
5. They keep trying to contact me, despite my repeated warnings not to.
6. I am considering a restraining order.
7. When I tell them it’s over, they blow up in anger, then slowly or even quickly fall to lukewarm, or even cold.
8. There is a lack of love, care, and trust, as well as respect.
9. I am engaging in embarrassing, and at worst, humiliating behavior, and justify it as ok.
10. Although I feel they rejected me many times, I keep on coming back.
11. It’s almost as if there is a compulsion or addiction to this person. Even though they consistently disappoint me, I keep on returning.
12. Our relationship dynamic is based on the fact that I don’t have any boundaries. If I had boundaries, they wouldn’t stick around.
13. They are pretending to have a future with me in order to get what they want in the present. I caught their fakery many times.
14. This person treats me like cr*p, with little to no respect, and uses me to fulfill their needs.
15. They lack empathy and don’t care about me. In fact, I believe they’re narcissists/sociopaths/psychopaths.
16. Their behavior has been demeaning and discrediting me. They’ve expressed delusions about their grandeur, and that is more than enough to make me very concerned about continuing my involvement.
17. This person is a danger to me. They have threatened to harm me/my loved ones/property.
18. I have suffered verbal, mental, and sexual abuse.
19. I’ve completely forgotten who I am, what I value, where I stand, what my boundaries are, and what my needs are. I also have lost touch with my family, friends, and hobbies. This relationship has made me feel isolated.
20. He/she affected me deeply, even though we only dated for a short time.
21. They make me feel guilty while they play the victim.
22. I have broken up with him/her many times in the past.
23. We have split up at least once in the past for similar reasons.
24. They’ve promised things would improve, but they haven’t been able to keep their word.
25. He/she tried to sleep with me even after we split up.
26. Someone might describe this relationship as a booty call.
27. They want to keep seeing me, even though they are seeing someone else.
28. I was the girlfriend/boyfriend once, but now I am the other woman/man.
29. They are married/attached and made me promises to leave many times but haven’t. However, they don’t want to end this.
30. We work together, and it is difficult for me to establish a professional footing to resist their advances or to deal with my hurt.
31. They have told me they don’t want to be in a relationship.
32. He/she actually told me to cut them off for my own sake.
33. They are still trying to control me, even though we’re separated.
34. I want to make a change, but I don’t know where to start.
35. Because of the struggles I’ve had to overcome, I have considered ending my life.
36. I have been thinking about taking revenge. They’ve actually issued a restraining or threatened to.
37. I’m basically stalking this person online/offline. I am constantly looking at their Facebook page, driving past their house, secretly accessing their email, and trespassing on their property.
38. We are both dealing with addiction to a substance or compulsive behavior, which makes our relationship very codependent.
39. I feel guilty about my decision to end our relationship. I worry they will do something to themselves if I stop communicating with them. However, at the same time, I can’t have a relationship with them.
40. Our involvement falls under the category of fantasy relationships. It was a virtual crush relationship primarily via texting and online.

I have dealt with people who agree with nearly all of these statements in a single relationship. Alert! You are allowing yourself to become accustomed to high-level of drama or severe levels of stress in life. This can lead you to normalize poor relationships, which may even be life-threatening at some point. You may be telling yourself you can handle it or believing you know better. But in reality, it may not be the case. You are the one who realizes how toxic this relationship is, and bail.

These situations and feelings do not represent what love looks like. It’s a list full of pain, danger, and abuse. Although No Contact might seem like a difficult act of self-preservation, but if you don’t do it, it will take you much longer to end the relationship and keep your self-esteem intact. Enough reasons to act?